Why do tactical projects live forever and strategic projects die young?

A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked. A complex system designed from scratch never works and cannot be patched up to make it work. You have to start over with a working simple system.
— Gall's Law

Tactical

  • They start with a well understood business problem. We need a system that allows us to enter market X or that can allocate via fix/swift or we need a way to see all our clients positions across many disparate systems.

  • Sense of urgency

  • They use existing infrastructure or buy something out of the box.

  • Because it’s tactical, you don’t spend a year building a future proof architecture or gathering requirements. These things are done on a JBGE (Just barely good enough) basis

  • They fly under the radar

All of the above means that the system is up and running very quickly and the feedback cycle is short.

So this solution, let’s call it, Back Office Reporting aGregator, or BORG for short is now in production and is used for equity client reporting.

What happens next is how BORG grows. Manager A is talking to Manager B about wanting to do a transaction store. Manager A says you should “check-out” BORG, it’s tactical, but it has aggregated client positions. All you have to do is extent the feed to include transactions and voila you have a transaction store. It’s tactical, but you can use it until that strategic solution is complete.

BORG now has aggregated client positions and allocations.

Next an operations manager says if we can get fails data and so on and so forth…

Before you know it BORG is being fed by every major system in the bank all while waiting to be replaced by the strategic system, which gets attempted many times but never ever succeeds.

Strategic Programs 

Now, let’s look at projects that fail. You can usually spot some of these doomed programs through the name alone. They usually begin with:  Cross asset class, Global or Strategic

Let’s make up a fictional project to highlight what usually happens. We’ll call this project EnterPrIse Cross Functional Asset Integration Layer (EPICFAIL).

EPICFAIL has many of the characteristics of large programs in investment banks that get started and stopped every day.

  • A weighty deck prepared by a reputable consultancy. Usually bound in one of those thick white binders

  • Lots of senior oversight and governance

  • Long requirements gathering process with lots and lots of sign-off in blood which of course leads to even longer sign-off processes because people know they only get one chance

  • Strong change control process

  • Big expectations and promises

  • Distributed and silo'd teams with some matrix management thrown in for good measure

  • Politics between technology and change management

  • Architecture oversight

  • Really good project manager/program manager to hold it all together

  • A three year deadline

I leave you to draw your own conclusions :) 

The Agile Mindset

During a retrospective with a client, we did an exercise called 5-whys to try and uncover the underlying reason behind the lack of focus on production. One enlightened developer provided a valuable piece of insight when he noted that we *may* still be in a “waterfall mind-set,” hence the lack of urgency.

This is natural after living under the tyranny of the waterfall deliveries for many decades.

Why does getting to production every sprint matter so much? Why won’t I just shut up about it?

In my experience, the greatest two barriers to a meaningful agile adoption are the waterfall mind-set and the belief that everything will magically come together at some point in the future.

Nothing has a more profound impact on changing the waterfall mind-set than actually getting to production at the end of every sprint. It will change the way you think and operate.

If the teams and the product owner do not insist on getting to PSPI (potentially shippable product increments) every sprint here is broadly what will happen. You basically end up with scrum-fall (scrum+waterfall) (devolopment sprints->line up environments-> integration test -> uat-> production). Estimates start to become meaningless as you will need an equally long time for the “release sprints”.

The net result will be a failure to deliver and ultimately blaming agile: e.g. “Agile does not work.” “We need to go back.” “If we stayed doing things the way were doing things, we would be live by now”.

As if to say that we delivered so wonderfully in the waterfall model.

But the product owner is not pushing for production

It is the job of everyone (feature team, scrum master, product owner). To date, the push to production has been coming from people outside these three groups. This should be discussed in PBR (product backlog refinement). The scrum master should keep the production tension alive. 

But there is no business value going to production every sprint

That is probably true during the first couple of sprints, but going to production every sprint will change the nature of PBR. The team/PO will start thinking about what useful things can be built to drive revenue. (e.g. if we do X can we start generating a subset of the revenue).


Nothing is getting done...

When agile/scrum is introduced into an organization one of the side effects is a perceived or real lack of urgency. I have seen this on a number of occasions, where teams seem to be losing the sense of urgency. Estimates feel too high, not enough "stuff" is getting built.

"enough of this hippy B.S., we need to crack the whip"

I want to share some of my observations regarding why this happens and some suggestions.

The traditional model of getting things done is referred to as the authoritarian model by Peter Senge (the 5th discipline). In this model, one person understands the problem and shoulders the sense of urgency and tells his “team” what to do. That person is the information bottleneck. He/she cracks the whip when he needs to be but many also reward a person for a job well done. The sense of urgency comes from the fear of this person and not from the “real problem. Let’s call this model, the Lewis model.

To a certain extent the Lewis model actually works and “stuff” will get delivered. Lewis will get rewarded. He works hard and shoulders most of the stress.  As a side effect of the stress and the whip cracking, few people want to work for Lewis.

Another model is one where the team feels and understands the problem. Rather than the sense of urgency stemming from the fear of a “person” it stems from understanding the real underlying problem or business opportunity. This will result far more creative solutions to the problem.  Teams working under this model will usually work harder/smarter than under the Lewis model. Let’s call this model the Harvey model. Everyone wants to work in this model.

A big part of the product team’s role is to translate the opportunity/problem to the team and protect the team from Lewis. The team in turn must seek to understand the problem/opportunity and deliver results.


Scrum meetings are a waste of time...

I hear that all the time...

The truth is scrum doesn’t actually have many meetings. There are four meetings (Sprint Planning, Backlog Refinement, Sprint Review & Retrospective) and a  15 minute daily standup. Added up, that’s roughly 8 hours over a three week period. Open your calendar and you will surely see far more meetings than that.

What makes it feel like wasted time is the fact that the whole team attends most of these meetings.

 I want to explain why the whole team dynamic is important:

  • Traditionally, one person understands the whole system and divides the work. This creates a key man risk. Only one person understands the whole system
  • When the team understands the system, the velocity also increases rapidly over time and bottlenecks are reduced
  • You get a better solution when the whole team understands the problem
  • You get better estimates when the whole team breaks down the tasks

 Over time, the team will get more efficient at these meetings.

The taxonomy of A-holes

A story

When I was 22, I read one of books that were meant to teach you how to get “ahead” in your career. In it, the author espouses the importance of having mentors. He recommended that when selecting a mentor you do not ask your manager but the person running the company or a captain of industry. The worst case scenario is they don’t respond or say “no”

So I did just that. From my lowly desk, in my cube at the bottom of the food chain, I emailed the guy running the day-to-day operations of this massive investment bank. I had only seen him on the corporate intranet or heard him speak on earnings calls. I hit send and had a brief moment of panic. 

Minutes later, I received a reply from him. “Sure, no problem, meet me tomorrow at 3:30.” The first thought I had was, “Crap, I need to buy a suit”
I spent that night wondering what to ask him and settled on three things: 1) What is the single most important piece of advice you can give me 2) What area of investment banking should I focus on 3) Can I get to your level and still have a happy marriage?

His answer to the first question has stuck with me for the past 14 years. He said,

 “Don’t be an asshole. You can be effective as an a-hole and get stuff done but one day you will screw up big time and all those people that you were an a-hole too will take a step back and let you fall. Work hard, help everyone you can, teach people what you know and don’t expect anything in return”

This single piece of advice has had tremendous impact on my career. A decade and a half later I’m ready to pay it forward and teach people what I have learned about a-holes.

I have met many different types of people in my career. Consulting has also put me into contact with many types of people. I began to see trends in the people I met. 

But first we have to create a ubiquitous quadrant to neatly classify people.

AQ (A-hole quadrant)

The most interesting quadrant to me is the upper left: the smart-ass

Some of the characteristics of the smart ass:

  • People would rather quit than work for them
  • Peers want that person to fail
  • Not a leader but can be a great manager
  • Tolerated for their intelligence but not liked. e.g. “good guy to have around”
  • Do not receive feedback well
  • Talks more than listens
  • Has limited career growth

Observations:

  •  Caution: There is a big difference between focus and being an a-hole. Many smart people get lost in thought when they are creating, aka the flow state. Don’t confuse this with being an a-hole
  • Smart a-holes can come in many forms:
  • The cocky developer
  • The pushy project manager
  • The manager that drives his people to the ground (Can also be an Idiot a-hole) Note: Organizations that promote intellectually lazy a-holes to management positions are those orgs you know need to leave
  • The guy/gal who went to an impressive sounding university and believes they are entitled to a certain level of respect
  • They often time don’t realize that people consider them to be a-holes. They are sometimes masking deep-seated insecurities
  • Current a-holes are many times future leaders, if they can make the switch (e.g. Steve Jobs < 30 & vs. Steve Jobs >30). Some of the best people I have worked with and have become some of my closest friends are recovering a-holes

Suggestions

The greatest gift you can do is give the SA private and candid feedback. In all likelihood, it will be a very uncomfortable experience. There may be a strong reaction, “Give me an example, I don’t agree, I just care about quality.” This is good, it means they will think about the feedback.

Give them a book. I sometimes buy people How to Win Friends and Influence People. Although the title leaves much to be desired, the chapter on how you make people feel is gold. Ask them to teach you something or teach the team something.

Many times when I show this quadrant to people one of two things seem to happen:

  1. They wonder where they fit on the quadrant
  2. They start classifying people they know

For the first. The easiest way to find out is to ask people. That’s what I did. For the second, give people the article and hope they ask you for feedback. At least they will begin thinking about it.

Awareness of being an A-hole is the first step to recovery...

Triple wins. How we create family resolutions.

I am not one of those super organized people. But the one thing I have done religiously since 2008 is plan my year in advance. I get the question all the time about how I manage these crazy races, travel, have a career, and spend time with my kids. This is how I do it. 

Prior to doing this, I would just go with the flow. what ever screamed loudest, I followed. I just went through the motions with regards to work, family, and kids. 

Since I have started planning out my year in advance, I've noticed an interesting side effect, I get a lot done, but i'm not really that busy. 

Caution: this whole process takes a lot of time but it helps not waste a whole year.

1. What did you do the previous year?

I start with a simple brain dump of what I have accomplished the year before. You might be surprised by what you have accomplished or *not* accomplished. What trends do you notice? I usually do this exercise with my wife and kids. We try to find trends or interesting patterns that can shape the coming year. 

For example?

  • Where did we travel
  • What did my kids accomplish
  • How much money did I save/state of my investments
  • Major accomplishments at work/business
  • Books I read, things I've learned

I personally use Google sheets for this. Finally, we finish with the question, "what is this the year of"? When you look back 20 years from now, what will you remember 2017 for? "2017 is the year of having a new baby and moving to a new country" 

2. Ideas for the following year

Do a "brain dump" of things you want to accomplish next year. Just sit down and write anything that comes to mind. Just let the ideas flow. 

I do the same exercise with my wife and kids. My wife usually doesn't want to do this and rolls her eyes, but eventually she will start telling me what she wants the children to achieve and eventually what she wants to achieve. The kids rattle off their own lists too.

I spend a couple of days on these lists, adding, and removing.

Major themes will start to emerge. They will form the major "rocks" for the year. For example

  • Run an 'X' mile ultramarathon
  • Increase the revenue for my company by X%
  • Travel to 'X' new cities
  • Publish my first book
  • Children become proficient mandarin speakers 
  • Children become better swimmers
  • Actively help out a charity

I take the goals and make them scary/exciting. I am not sure why this works for me, but it does. It triggers something within me that makes me more likely to achieve the goal. Sometimes it will take more than a year to accomplish them. E.g.

  • Rather than run 50 miles-> run 100 miles.
  • Rather than learn Hindi-> give an entire lecture in Hindi
  • Rather than my son learn to swim -> do his first triathlon

3. Look for triple "wins" 

My goals used to be all about me. What I have been doing recently is trying to find goals that overlap with my wife and kids. That  increase the chances of my actually achieving the goals and it brings the family together. 

Once my family and I have the lists and they are sufficiently scary and exciting, I start looking for synergies.

For example, the kids need to practice their Arabic next year and she wants to visit her sister in Jordan and I want to do a multi-stage running race. So I started "googling" and found a one week desert Ultra in Jordan in March. A triple win.


We arrive at these but talking, talking and more talking. 

This is the secret sauce of the whole process. If my wife is part of the planning and I take her wants into consideration she will be my support system. This is one of the main reasons my wife supports what I do.

4. Categorize things into months

I start putting things onto the yearly calender like that. I put major events like major holidays, work commitments, travel commitments. I find out what gaps in my calendar I can play with. My wife wants to visit Japan, I want to do an Ironman and my son wants to do his first Iron Kids. So Ironman Japan in August goes up on the calendar.

5. Put "it" up or shut up

Once I'm done with my goals, I put them up on the wall where I can see them everyday. I also have a yearly calendar where I can see the major events I have planned. It's the first thing I see when I turn on my phone. 

Visualization is the second secret ingredient. 

6. Get started

I will make things real by booking races or holidays. I start right away. I don't wait or put it off.


Race resources that I use

  • Marathons around the world: http://www.marathonguide.com/
  • Ultramarathons around the world: http://www.ultramarathonrunning.com/
  • Triathlons around the world: http://trimapper.com/
  • Ironman.com, Challenge.com, Rev3tri.com

On measurement

____ heads. South Kennsington

____ heads. South Kennsington

 

The “quantified self” movement is becoming all the rage these days. People measuring how much REM sleep they manage to achieve, weight, BMI, how many steps they walk, resting HR, etc. The net result is driving people to constantly improve, walk more, sit less, sleep more, etc. All great stuff.

People are even spending hundreds of dollars on this type of measurement. I have personally spent lots of money on lactate threshold tests, vo2 max, bodpod etc. I do this so I can track the effectiveness of my training and see how much I’m really improving.

As Gordon Weir (@gordweir) once told me, if I was *made* to do all of the above or if my wife purchased a Fitbit for “encouragement” and to “track” my weight loss progress; I would probably attach the Fitbit to a fan so I can game the system while eating a Snickers bar.

While the measurements may be the same and the instruments the same, the difference is profound.

Feature teams are meant to gather metrics (e.g. defects per release, burn down, velocity, etc) as a way to measure where they are and improve, *not* as a mechanism to get beat over the head with. The former is the only way to gather “real” metrics. The latter will lend itself to gaming the system. The sprint metrics are gathered by the team, for the team, and are discussed during retrospectives.

The same applies for the product team.  The product team should be gathering metrics around ROI, revenue etc. Metrics are the only way to validate assumptions. If we build (invest) X we assume we will get Y (return). Again these are ways to validate assumptions and continuously improve and not meant to be a noose.

Metrics are necessary and important but only when metrics are used as a means of improvement. Metrics that are forced on feature teams or product teams have a higher likelihood of being gamed to provide the “right” answer.

(Guest Post) Be a butler *not* a developer

Advice for developers working with traders

By Jibreel Hussain

The perfect butler knows what the master of the house needs before he even knows he needs it himself. The same principle applies for developers working on the desk. In other words, he is empathetic.

Recognizing and implementing the needs of the traders is the difference between a good develop and a great developer.

Don’t ask for permission, JFDI.

If the trader is mandated to use a particular utility and is forced to book the trade in two places, automate it.

If a trader is doing a redundant task, automate it. 


My father's 80/20 rule to parenting (Un-edited)

My father once gave a piece of parenting advice that has always stuck with me. His advice was to ignore 80% of what your children do wrong and admonish the important 20%.

He said not to be one of those parents that always tell his children "not to do that, be quiet, don't pick that up, etc"

But for the 20% that matters, not to budge. You need to figure out what those non-negotiables are?

For me, its lying, disrespecting parents or elders, etc.

(Guest Post) How I Started Running Fast(er)

Guest post by Issa Abbasi (@IssaAhmadAbbasi)

When I began to enjoy running, I immediately listed all of the popular marathons I wanted to one day race.  Of course, any serious runner would make sure to include the Boston Marathon on such a "bucket list" of races as I made sure to do.  I knew that I had to qualify for the Boston Marathon but what I didn't know was that the qualifying time for my age group (18-34) would require me to run a marathon a year before I planned to register to run the Boston Marathon in 3:05. This qualifying race for the Boston Marathon (also known as a "BQ") has to also be certified by the Boston Athletic Association (BAA), so it can't just be "any" marathon that you run to qualify for Boston.

While I am not running a 7 minute pace yet, I knew I had to get faster at running if I wished to one day qualify for the Boston Marathon.

But how does a runner simply run fast or faster?  Below are some methods and techniques I used to improve not only my speed but also my endurance in a matter of 8 weeks.

I joined a running club

Running can be extremely fun, especially when you have a large support group in a running club. When you run with others around you, you will have no choice but to run faster if you want to keep up with the group.  Naturally, you'll discover here what actual "running" is and feels like.

Furthermore, clubs tend to offer group workouts that include speed drills done by a coach. These speed drills are especially helpful to getting faster. With my experience, I cut almost three minutes off my 5K PR with weekly speed drills for six weeks (11/28/13 5K was 29:34 and 1/26/14 5K was 26:39).

I hired a running coach 
As discussed in my previous post, even as a beginner, can pay dividends very quickly. A good coach's approach will get you to realize gains very quickly but also sustained gains for your long term racing career. Coaches will also give you advice you won't find in a running magazine, book, or on a Facebook page about everything running related.  
 

I slowed down
This may seem counter intuitive but it works; slow down!  Runners need to realize that not every run has to be at your all out 5k race pace.  Runners need to embrace training at various paces on a weekly basis if they want to run fast(er). For more information about slowing down, see Ahmad's post about zone 2 training (hyperlink "zone 2 training" to your post on the subject). Remember, it's not the fastest runner who wins the race but the one who slows down the least.

I stopped comparing myself to others
Once I stopped comparing myself to others and focused on my running, my mental wall of "getting faster" vanished.  This is especially key when you are running a race. I passed plenty of people in a recent 5K and 10K who were ahead me for the majority of the race and never looked back.  How? Because I paced myself based on my training of slowing down and became a more efficient runner.  When the time was right, I turned on the jets and motored past those who were in front of me for most of the race and ended up finishing before them.  Remember, in a race, it's not about where you start but rather where you finish that matters.

I let it come naturally

Don't rush to get faster, let things come naturally.  I've heard of the "running faster vs. longer" argument and I believe that a runner should focus on running longer first rather than speed.  It doesn't help if you are a fast runner trying to run a half marathon but are not able to finish one. Furthermore, running longer will enable you to slowly become more efficient and thus faster runner, so don't chase speed. 



(Guest Blog) 10 Grammar Rules Every Worldschooled Kid Should Know

Written by Chistina El-Ahmar

  1. Beginning and Ending Punctuation
  2. Paragraphing
  3. The Parts of Speech
  4. The Sentence and the Fragment
  5. Subject, Verb, and Object Forms
  6. Verb Tense
  7. Punctuating Dialogue
  8. Rules and Uses for Commas
  9. The Apostrophe & The Dash
  10. The Semicolon and the Colon

Suggested Reading and Resources:

  • Eats, Shoots, and Leaves by Lynn Truss
  • The Power of Grammar by Mary Ehrenworth
  • The Elements of Style by E.B White and William Shrunk
  • Sentence Composing for Middle School by Don Killgallon
  • Discovering Voice by Nancy Dean

When it comes to writing kids need to care about what they are saying. They need to feel a sense of purpose that sharing their stories matters. Everyone has a story to tell, and everyone’s voice is important. The sooner they understand this, the sooner they will take pride in becoming writers. Grammar should be taught not as a list of rules, but as a means to make writing meaningful and powerful. Therefore, Grammar should be taught to children through Story-telling and Narrative. Explain to kids the “Why” of Grammar and then demonstrate its power in writing through examples.

Ex. Why is Harry Potter a World Favorite? How does the author use her writing? Explore the structure of writing in favorite novels.

Southbank, London

Southbank, London

 


The Face of Rejection (updated)

Most adults, including myself, have the same fears: fear of public speaking, fear of rejection, fear of failure, etc.

I'm not sure how and why it happens. Recently, I've noticed that my son is beginning to lose some of his fearlessness. The ability to go up to anyone and ask anything without fear of rejection.

Not sure if this is some biological instinct that gets triggered at the age of 10. Maybe it's an instinct to be careful of adults because 10,000 years ago another male adult would have taken your bison meat and stolen your wife. Again, I'm not sure.

But, what I am sure, is that I don't want my kids growing up fearing rejection and failure.

So I devised a little experiment to teach my son about rejection. Something I'm too scared to do myself. Obviously, because I don't want someone to take my bison meat and steal my wife.

I took my son for a walk around the cafes in Fulham and told him to go up to random people that he found interesting and ask them to take their portraits. His initial reaction was, "No way!" I asked, "What's the worst that could happen?" He replied, "They can say no." We discussed this possibility and agreed that that wasn't a big deal.

We agreed to a script: Hello sir/madam! Do you mind if I take your portrait for a project I'm doing?

 

At least they were alive and in person. Next, I told him that he needs to take pictures of people he doesn't know and he must get up close and personal. I showed him how by taking his portrait.

He went around and asked eight people to take their portraits. Four happily agreed and four said no. When he came back, I asked him how it felt to be rejected. He said, "It was no big deal." 

We went out a couple of days later to take some more pictures. We repeated the same experiment. The only thing we added was they needed to ask the person they were photographing for their name and a piece of advice.

Alan. "Never speak ill of anyone" Played in the FA cup 3rd Division&nbsp;

Alan. "Never speak ill of anyone" Played in the FA cup 3rd Division 

Didn't speak English.

Didn't speak English.

Robert. Refugee in world war two. Described the war as terrible. "take every opportunity that you get" &amp; "Get a good education"

Robert. Refugee in world war two. Described the war as terrible. "take every opportunity that you get" & "Get a good education"

After Yusuf didn't want to take any more pictures,  Sulafa was taking some random pictures of flowers and a father and daughter asked her to take their portrait. We rushed to the local print store and printed them a copy of the photograph. 

street photraphy w kids 034.JPG

 

Where is that Smell Coming From?

Outside the Malt House in Fulham

Outside the Malt House in Fulham

If you have one or more of the following "odors" something is rotting somewhere:

  • Your outlook filing system is more air tight than a submarine
  • You have meetings to discuss meetings you have yet to have
  • You don't argue with your colleagues during team meetings
  • Nobody from your actual team does any talking during the "team" meetings
  • You can't tell your manager he is an idiot
  • You have no idea where you stand with your manager
  • Your power point slides are prettier and more uniform than the Queen's gardens
  • There are no white boards
  • Nobody has lunch together
  • There are layers and layers of fat between the team and real clients
  • There are no Nerf guns or flying helicopters


Jiro Dreams of Ultraman

In the enlightening documentary, "Jiro Dreams of Sushi" Jiro explains that his secret for becoming who he became was that he follows the same steps everyday and tries to get a little bit better everyday.  This is the approach i'm taking to Ultraman UK 2014.

The core of my training is a consecutive thee day training block every week where I do a long stead swim one day, followed by a long steady bike ride the next and a run on the third day

For each of these consecutively longer sessions, I follow the same script as the week before, wearing the same clothes, eating the same foods. I'm trying to improve just one thing for each discipline each week.

The training log

Run

  • Lite breakfast. Just a handful of dates and water
  • What I wear: Nike, Underarmour shirt, Nike runner shorts. Asics Shoes, Compression socks
  • So far I have not been eating during the run (up to 150min). Need to change that. Perhaps adopt the MDS fueling strategy. Run 45 minutes walk 15 minutes and eat during the walk.

Bike

  • What I wear: 3/4 bib, underarmour cold weather gear, bike top, Giro helmet
  • What I eat before: Big smoothie for breakfast
  • What I eat during: Date, Banana, Cinnamon, Almond coconut milk (300 cals/hour)
  • What I heat after: 250ml innocent smootie
  • Fuel goes into the tri bottle holder water goes into fuselage
  • How often do I eat: every 15m

Swim

  • Goggles: Aqua Sphere Kayman
  • Fueling: SiS gel every 30min.
  • Fueling after: Coke if swimming in a lake

Homeschooled Children Smell Like Salami

I have seen it over and over again. Some well intentioned person asks my children which school they go to. They respond, "We are homeschooled." To this, the person looks at them like they were raised in a leper colony and says "Oh! that's interesting." Interesting is another way of saying, "Why are you ruining these poor children?"

The term "homeschooling" is a loaded term. It's usually synonymous with weird or socially awkward. It's for kids who don't wear matching socks and smell like salami.

So I tried an experiment, I told my kids next time they are asked which school they attend, they are to answer, "We are Worldschooled."

That evoked a very different "Oh!" A much more positive "Oh!" Usually followed by, "So where have you visited in the world?" This does two things: It makes the kids really proud and it forces the questioning parents to think, "Crap! I need to take my kids on some trips."

I propose we dump the term "Homeschooling" for the much more accurate and infinitely cooler, "Worldschooled."

What is Marmite?

The artist: My daughter

The artist: My daughter

lessons I've learned working in London for the past 8 years. 

  • When you are asked "Good weekend?", they actually don't want the details of your weekend.
  • Don't get too excited when somebody tells you something is "Brilliant." Everything is brilliant.
  • Pants = Underwear. So don't say, "I've been lazy and have been wearing these pants all week". Not good. The correct word is trousers.
  • Don't be overly nice to a Brit when you meet them they will wonder what you want from them.
  • Also, don't tell everyone your life story when you first meet them.
  • You don't do Europe.
  • Ibiza is prounouced IbiTHA.
  • Tea is dinner.
  • Marmite is nasty.
  • Don't get all hurt when somebody disagrees/debates with you at work. It's just part of the culture.
  • Getting a coworker to come over for dinner may take 10-15 years.
  • They butter both sides of sandwich. Still can't get used to it.
  • It's holiday not vacation.
  • They take their holidays very seriously. You will not impress a Brit by saying, I haven't been on holiday in 6 years.
  • Muppet = Idiot.
  • It's very annoying when a Brit mimics an American accent and says, "Awesome." It seems to amuse them though so don't say anything.
  • Don't talk about America all the time. It's annoying.
  • Don't develop a fake English accent. It's also annoying
  • Brits don't wear undershirts.
  • Never, ever wear your blackberry or smart phone on your belt. That is equivalent to high treason.
  • Get used to army time and DD/MM/YYYY
  • Say no to Khakis.
  • First stop when you get off the plane is to TM Lewin for the 4 for a 100 deal. Paul Smith and Thomas Pink come later on.
  • Embrace cuff links.

What is the difference between working in New York and London(v.02)

Disclaimer:  These are gross over simplifications. All based on my personal experience in a specific field. I have spent half my 15 year career working in NYC/NJ and the other in London.

"Lazy Husband" Fulham, London

"Lazy Husband" Fulham, London

'Merica.

  • Value trustworthiness above all.
    If you ask about someone, you will hear something like "He's a good guy"
  • Far more entrepreneurial spirit
  • Nicer but faker
  • People will violently agree if they don't agree then talk about you behind your back

England

  • Values cleverness above all else
  • Far more cynical. (Why is this person being so nice to me, what does he want?)
  • Think they are smarter and the US agree with that.
  • Debate is part of the culture
  • People in the U.K. fall into line more